How do I survive Middle Earth?
by PinoTheGreat
Summary: Overdone, I know: Two girls me and my friend fall into Middle Earth… pity it…
1. The Beginning

_Disclaimer__: Don't own anything, but if you want me to… SEND MONEY!_

_Summary__: Overdone, I know: Two girls (me and my friend) fall into Middle Earth… pity it…_

**How do I survive Middle Earth**

a.k.a How does Middle Earth survive me

**Chapter 1: The Beginning**

'Explain to me again why we're here?' Marieke asked her friend, looking around paranoid.

'Because I said so...besides if we don't find my car keys soon we'll have to walk all the way back to where we came from. And on our way we'll pass the Pink & Fluffy Store you like so much and I'm NOT carrying any junk you buy there,' Babs replied, hitting Marieke over the head, before looking around for said lost car keys.

You see, they were at the World Congress of Lost Car Keys, which is held daily in the gigantic building under the third bridge to your right, not to be mistaken with the gigantic building under the third bridge to your left where they hold the World Congress of Sith Bunnies ever other month.

'One, since when do you have a car? Two, I'm broke,' Marieke protested, showing her empty wallet, which failed to even produce a dead moth.

'Ok, so I like being here. I've got a fascination for car keys, what's wrong with that? And you're not broke, you've got 20 bucks stuffed away in your underwear remember?'

Marieke ponder the comment, then proceeds to produce a 20 Euro note from somewhere inside her clothes. She's looking at it triumphantly when she is suddenly kicked in the shin and the note disappears.

'Babs! Timmy ate my money!'

Babs runs after Timmy/Marieke, and after 3 seconds chase she grabs Timmy/Marieke by his/her throat and start to strangle him/her until he/she coughs up the 20 Euro bill.

'Don't EVER do that again Timmy. You know you're not supposed to come out when she's awake, and you absolutely NEVER EAT the Amazing Money, now get back in and give me back Marieke, we'll talk about this later tonight,' she said angrily to an almost blue body that's lying on the ground. When the body was finally Marieke again she made a point of looking concerned. 'Are you ok? You know…you look good in blue.'

Marieke groans in reply. 'Not this conversation again. But since you asked, no I don't feel okay. I got do with some water, let's try to find the restroom in this god-forsaken place,' Marieke complained and stared muttering as she dragged Babs after her. 'First some invisible force kicks me, then I suddenly wake up on the floor and feel like I've been throttled. I hate this place.'

While dragged behind Marieke. "It's not MY fault this happened, he can be real fun when you get to know him. Besides…the restroom is the other way'

Before long they find the only restroom in the building, but there's a queue from one end of the building to the other, all of lost car keys in need to power there noses for they were showing rust. Marieke, not the type who likes long queues, continues to drag Babs along. 'I'm sure there must be another restroom around here somewhere, I'm positive I saw one on our way in.'

They soon come to a door with a sign spelling "Black Hole to Another Dimension DO NOT ENTER". Marieke, being dyslectic, smiles. 'See "REST-ROOM", I told you there was another one around.'

Suddenly Babs cried out. 'NOOOO!!!!! That's no restroom, that's the Rest of DOOOM you idiot. If you go in there you'll never find your spleen again!' With nothing else to think of Babs hit Marieke.

The hit doesn't seem to bother Marieke at all. 'Look, SHINEY!' Marieke exclaimed, pointing down the hall. As Babs got distracted, Marieke pulled open the door and pushed her friend in before jumping in after her. 'Bonsai! W_eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!_'

'AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!' Babs screamed while falling fast down to a familiar light at the end of the tunnel. 'This is all your fault!' she tries to yell at Marieke who's falling fortunately faster right behind her. Suddenly there was a thud and Babs heard something break. When she stood up she saw she landed right on top of Marieke. 'You can kiss that spleen goodbye now,' she said sarcastically while she helped Marieke to get up. When she looked around she saw that they'd fallen right into Elrond's bedroom in Rivendell. 'Nice pink bunnies,' she said to Marieke while they examined his underwear.

Marieke is confused as to how they know they landed in Elrond's bedroom, until she sees the nametag written in the underwear Babs is holding.

'Come on! I wanna know if it's true Erestor wears laced panties. Let's find his bedroom,' Marieke urged. 'Elrond is boring anyway. Prissy little Elf-Lord with his large house that dominates this beautiful valley.'

'Ok, fine by me. You find the bedroom I'll have a peek at his diary'

Marieke happily bounded off in search of the gloomy advisor's bedroom. She's distracted however by a tall blonde elf who's sitting in a corner crying softly.

'What's wrong?' She inquired, looking at the crying elf.

The elf looked up startled, obviously thinking he had hidden himself quite ingeniously. 'Arwen stole my horse,' he finally admitted. 'And went after Aragorn while Elrond send _me _out to find them.'

'Please tell me you're not going to be all emotional over one crying elf do you?' Babs said annoyed, knowing that once Marieke would start talking to the elf she never ever would shut up. 'Come on Marieke we have to find the bedroom, I can't wait to read his diary too. I already got Elrond's one,' And she showed Marieke the diary she took from Elrond's room. The diary was Pink and had cute little bunny's.

'Byebye, Glorfy,' Marieke waved happily.

'How do you know my name?' The elf inquired, his tears suddenly forgotten.

'I read the books, duh. You're Glorfindel the Baldrog Slayer. Say, you wouldn't happen to know where we can find Erestor's bedroom so we can make slingshots out of his laced panties, would you?' Marieke asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes at the elf with a _very_ innocent looking expression on her face.

Babs rolled her eyes, still being annoyed and muttered "Show-off". But on the same time she was glad Marieke asked the way, or else they could be stuck here for hours and she'd almost finished Elrond's diary. Now she only hoped that the elf was kind and told them the right way, or he was about to get hurt.

'I'll take you there, if you promise to do something for me in return,' Glorfindel smiled.

'Sure,' Marieke answered brightly.

Babs was glad he would help them. Unfortunately the bedroom was on the other side or the building, luckily she got a piggy-back ride from Marieke, who HAD to give her one since she put them here after all. And now Babs could just relax and read further in Elrond's diary which was getting more interesting after each page. While carried down the corridors she began to wonder; Who's this PMS fairy and what were they doing with those socks?

They finally arrived at Erestor's bedroom and Marieke shoved Babs of her back and dumped her on the floor.

'So what do you want us to do in exchange?' She asked, turning brightly to her new-found Elven friend. 'Snog Elladan and Elrohir? That can be arranged you know.'

Suddenly she stared out blankly into oblivion with a void expression on her face. Then a bright smile appeared on her face and she started jumping around.

'FREE! I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'

Babs put the diary away and chased Marieke across the room. ´No Cosmo, don't do that! Stop jumping on the bed! Don't go hide in the closet! And DON'T put that thing in your pants! It's not supposed to be there!' She shouted to Cosmo/Marieke with disgrace. 'Cosmo, get that thing out of your pants and get back in Marieke, or I'll hit you in there with your own spleen!' She started yelling to the moron who was still jumping around the room. She turned to Glorfindel. 'I usually don't yell at her. Normally when this happens during the day I just get a hammer.' Then she turned back to Cosmo while he was pulling his pants down in an attempt to moon both of them. 'COSMO! STOP IT!' Babs yelled.

'By the way, do you have a hammer I could borrow?' She asked Glorfindel.

'I only have this bone I found yesterday, but I'm not sure it'll help,' he replied.

'No worries, it'll do just fine,' Babs answered and started to chase Cosmo again.

After a short fight with the all so familiar word of _'Ow that hurts'_ she finally had Cosmo back in Marieke.

'What happened? And why are you holding that bone?' Marieke inquired, then got distracted by the dresser Cosmo had toppled over during his attempt at freedom. 'PANTIES! See, I _told_ you he wore them!' Then she turned to Glorfindel with a triumphant smile. 'Wait till you tell the twins this one, Erestor will never live it down. So what do we need to do and _when_ are Aragorn, Arwen and the hobbits arriving?'

'First I'm gonna read the final pages of Elrond's diary before putting it back. Then I'm gonna see if there's anything to eat around here. By the way, you should put your pants back on before you're gonna walk,' she gave Marieke the advise. She didn't know when Aragorn and the hobbit would arrive, but she hoped it would be soon.

Marieke watched Babs walk off to find a quiet corner to finish her reading, then she turned to Glorfindel.

'Well, I could use a laugh and the twins haven't been able to pull this one off yet; could in exchange for showing you his room, I want you to hang his panties in a tree I'll point out to you so that everyone can see them' Glorfindel told her.

Marieke nodded and pulled her pants back up, then stuffed every pocket she could find with Erestor's panties and grabbed his diary out from under his pillow before leaving with Glorfindel. Elves are _so_ predictable.

'Hehehe…PMS fairy,' Babs sniggered while reading the diary. This was sure the best one she'd ever read. When she was finished she walked to the tree where Marieke was hanging in upside-down and found Erestor's diary on the ground where it fell out of Marieke's pocket. 'How's it going up there?' She shouted up to Marieke.

'Great,' Marieke laughed, tossing the last of the panties into the air, then watched it get caught on a branch on its way sailing down. Just then all of a sudden a bight purple monkey appeared and unhooked Marieke's legs so she fell to the ground, hitting it head first.

Arianna i Dúnedan: -chases the purple plot monkey away with her favourite trusty imaginary baseball bat- How dare you… -strike 1- creep into the story… -strike 2- and HURT me! –hit, homerun- There, stupid plot monkey, now back to the story. –returns to her computer and starts writing again-

Just as Marieke fell out of the tree and hit her head, Aragorn walked through the gates of Rivendell, looking highly annoyed and ignoring the three hobbits trudging after him. He spotted Marieke lying unconscious on the floor and his face immediately brightened, running off in her direction, leaving the three poor hobbits behind.

'Make way, I'm a healer,' the ranger cried happily.

"I'm not really convinced, but be my guest, you can't do much wrong anyway. There's hardly any brain damage' Babs said while reading Erestor's diary.

"Thank you' Aragorn replied while he was getting his hammer to help Marieke.

Arianna i Dúnedan: HEY! I'm not in need of a hammer.

PinoTheGreat: -hits Arianna i Dúnedan with a hammer- Now you are

When he returned with his hammer, he pulled out a few leaves of athelas and started smashing them with the hammer until they were all bruised and withered. He put them on the bump on Marieke's head and wrapped a bandage over them to keep them in place. Then he pulled out his water flask and splashed a little into her face to wake her up. Marieke spluttered and opened her eyes, seeing Aragorn holding her, she nearly fainted again.

'Hiya prince charming. What should I call you? Aragorn? Strider? Elessar? Thorongil? Estel? The Dúnadan? Elfstone? Envinyatar? Renewer? Telcontar? Wingfoot? Oh no wait, you haven met Éomer yet… um… Longshanks maybe?' Marieke inquired, then noticed Aragorn's dazed expression. 'I'm babbling again, aren't I?'

'Just call him Fluffy Fluffkins' Babs joked to Marieke.

A bright yellow monkey comes running up and puts a stone into Marieke's hand before running off again. Marieke takes aim and knocks Babs out with the stone, then stops Aragorn from tending to her.

'Don't worry, we do this all the time, she'll be awake in like five seconds. I'm Marieke, by the way and that over there with Erestor's diary is my friend Babs. We got stuck in Middle Earth because I shoved her through a dimensional portal and then jumped after her, but that probably doesn't mean much to you. Anyway, why don't you go take a nice bath and change, you're home now and I'm sure Elrond would like to see his foster-son all squeaky clean. We'll see you at the party after Frodo wakes up again, lazy bugger.'

Arianna i Dúnedan: Somehow I like plot monkeys.

PinoTheGreat: Somehow it's gonna end up dead…

Arianna i Dúnedan: You can't kill plot monkeys.

PinoTheGreat: -ignores her and continues the story-

Babs woke up 5 seconds later. 'Why the hell did you do that for?' She said to Marieke while hitting her with the same stone. Sometimes her friend was acting so weird around dirty smelly way older guys. 'I don't know what you see in him. He's dirty, smelly, and is named Fluffy…I mean, the blond guy is a lot cuter, and a whole lot cleaner by the way. When are we gonna see this Elrond guy? Can't wait to meet him. Did you know he wears dresses sometimes and rides with two other guys around in a bus giving shows as drag queens?' She said. Oh yeah, Elrond's diary was far out the best one she'd ever read.

'Glorfindel is WAY older than Aragorn and he already died once after defeating a Balrog! Aragorn's only 87! That's young for a Dúnedain!' Marieke defended. 'Anyway, he's also Arianna's father. I guess I just got a little carried away when I met the father of one of the little voices in my head, sorry.'

With that she got up and trudged of in the direction of the Peredhil family wing of the Last Homely Home.

'Come on, I'm tired and I'm sure Arianna's bedroom is around here somewhere. I want to be awake and alert to steal Elrond's ring of power,' Marieke informed her friend, then laughed evilly. 'Vilya will be mine… all mine.'

Arianna i Dúnedan: -looks at PinoTheGreat- Shall we leave Elrond and his council for the next chapter?

PinoTheGreat: Sure...when are we finishing that?

Arianna i Dúnedan: -ponders- Whenever school allows us to?

PinoTheGreat: Got the day off tomorrow

Arianna i Dúnedan: Me not, but I only have one class, so deal.

PinoTheGreat: Just let me finish my part.

Arianna i Dúnedan: -slaughters msn in the meantime-

'Yeah I could use a little rest. I'll read the rest of the diary later when I wake up. You should really read Elrond's diary, it's hilarious,' Babs laughed. And together they walked to the bedroom, falling almost right asleep when their head touched the pillows.

Arianna i Dúnedan: -finishes slaughtering msn and waves at reader people- Hello nice reader people, hope you like our antics. We're continuing even if you didn't, because we're having way too much fun with this, but this, it's nice if writers are appreciated so hit that nice purplish little button down on the screen that says 'go'. You know the next to the text 'submit review'? Hope to catch you again next chapter!

PinoTheGreat: -waves too- Hope you have as much fun reading it as we did writing it. We'll try to the next chapter when we've got the time, meaning when school allows it. ;)

Just keep on reading, you never know when something happens. :P


	2. What to do next

_Disclaimer__: We don't own it… end of discussion._

**How do I survive Middle Earth**

a.k.a How does Middle Earth survive me

**Chapter 2**: What to do next

After a short nap Babs woke up and looked around in confusion. 'Where the hell am I?' She thought. Then she spotted her friend lying next to her and she remembered. The previous day her friend had pushed them through an unfamiliar hole, which somehow ended up here. Going by her motto "I'm awake, so you're awake" she woke up her friend.

'Marieke…? Marieke…? WAKE UP!!!' she yelled while shaking Marieke so wild she fell out of bed.

Arianna i Dúnedan: -shoves the last plot monkey into a really tiny cage and locks the door- There, no more plot monkeys in the story. I was planning on making Stanley your personal slave you know, but oh well, your loss. Now let's get back to writing. –notices PinoTheGreat started already- Oops.

'Oooooooooooh… pwitty stars,' Marieke drooled, trying to grab the stars that were circling around her head.

'When do we meet this dude Elrond?' Babs asked while catching up some reading in Eresor's diary.

'Elrond? More like "Smell"-rond. Have you ever walked by when he's using the little Elves' room? Man, you could fell and orc with that smell,' Marieke replied. 'Anyway, I ran into him when I had to go last night, he's invited us to "break our fast" with him and his family, meaning Arwen, the twins and his little Estel will be joining too,' Marieke rambled on, going googly eyed at the name Estel. 'But anyway, one little piece of advise; never, ever use the toilet after an Elf has just left it, ever!'

'That's the reason I went BEFORE the elves last night,' Babs said with a grin.

'It's not _my_ fault I had to go during the night!' Marieke protested. 'Oh, forget it, let's go find whatever room they hold breakfast in, maybe we'll run into Glorfy again and he can show us the way in exchange for something. Climbing trees was fun!'

After a short hour walk they finally found the breakfast room. Suddenly Babs realised she'd still had Elrond's diary in her hands. 'Quick, put this in your pants,' she said to Marieke while actually shoving the diary in her friends pants.

Marieke looked horrified at the prospect of being caught with Elrond's diary and quickly got an idea when she noticed an Elf walking past, fishing the diary out of her pants and shoving it down his. Then she turned to Babs and smiled brightly.

'Don't worry, I'll get it back later,' she assured her friend. 'Now let's get in there, I'm hungry like a ranger… hum… ranger… Aragorn…'

'Sure…and you're so not obsessed with Fluffy,' Babs joked to Marieke. 'Also you'll better get that diary back right after dinner ok? It's too good to get lost, besides I want to take it home with me as a souvenir.'

'Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. Anyway, something fun may happen during breakfast this way that doesn't involve us getting hurt for a change,' Marieke nodded solemnly. 'And just so you know… Aragorn is mine! As are those tall, dark and handsome twins,' she grinned wickedly and wiggled her eyebrows.

'You can have that dirty, filthy, smelly, Fluffy dude if you want to, I'll find myself some cute Elf,' Babs said while getting a seat at the table.

'Snog Legolas? He's due to arrive soon anyway. We just have to make Frodo wake up. Any suggestions?' Marieke asked as she dropped herself in Elrohir's lap. 'I'm not used to sitting on chairs,' she explained to the Elf while making herself comfortable.

'She'd hit her head yesterday, so apparently she brained her damage,' Babs explained to the confused looking elf. 'Do we HAVE to wake up Frodo? Can't someone else do that?' Babs complained while she didn't want to miss Legolas's arrival.

Knowing exactly why her friend asked, Marieke sighed. 'Yes, we have to. That prissy clean-freak Mirkwood princeling won't show up until he does… sheesh, didn't you watch the movies?' Marieke complained.

'Course I did, but that was some time ago. Don't remember everything. But ok…we'll wake the little hobbit up. How are you planning to do that? Kiss him awake? Like in a fairytale?' She said sarcastically.

'Of course not, I'm not _that_ stupid!' Marieke exclaimed, as she started to eat Elrohir's breakfast from his plate, ignoring the Elf's protests. 'I'd make Sam do that if it would work. No, we wait until you-know-who goes to the you-know-what again and shove him in afterwards, see how he likes it,' Marieke informed her, proud of her own little scheme.

'Did you put spaghetti in your pants AGAIN? You know that makes you talk all weird and stuff,' Babs said having not a single clue what her friend was talking about.

'No,' Marieke retorted. 'Garfield did that. Okay, so it's not my most brilliant plan, I'll admit that. Can I kill Boromir now?'

'Sure go ahead. But doesn't he come in with Legolas and Gimli and stuff? Besides I still don't know what you're talking about.'

Before Marieke could reply, Elrond walked in, looking rather crestfallen.

'Someone stole my diary,' he informed them solemnly. 'Does any of you know who?'

'Erestor,' Marieke replied without missing a beat. 'I saw him shoving it down his pants before he entered here.'

Babs gave Marieke an evil glare. Now she'd never get the diary back and was dieing to know what happened to Pricilla after they drove away from the hotel.

Though Erestor tried to deny the whole thing, the diary was indeed produced from where Marieke had hid it earlier. Elrond was furious at his advisor.

'Um, Lord Elrond… you know… if you want your diary to be safe and all… me and Babs are quite trustworthy with secret stuff and all and would never even dare to read about you and your dates with Pricilla the PMS Fairy,' Marieke told him solemnly, batting her eyelashes at him sweetly.

Elrond was fooled by the fake innocence and handed the diary to Babs for safekeeping.

Babs very pleased she had it back whispered to Marieke; 'Pricilla is a bus with which they'd drove through the dessert. But anyway, would you please explain to me how we're gonna wake Frodo up?'

'So I forgot the word "and",' Marieke shrugged. 'I'm dyslectic, I'm allowed to. Anyway, I don't think the toilet idea is really going to work, so maybe we should throw him off the roof?'

'No, we can't do that. That's supposed to be my back-up plan for waking YOU up. Hmm…let me think…why don't we just throw a bucket of water over him? He'll wake up AND gets clean at the same time,' Babs said thinking it was a clever idea which saved time so she could read Elrond's diary all over again. Erestor's was boring anyway.

'Sure, you can go do that and I'll go off making the other little hobbitses lives miserable,' Marieke smiled bright, hopping off Elrohir's lap and kissing him on the cheek as a thank you. 'Hannon le, mellon nin,' she told him happy to know a few Elfish words.

Babs walked to the room where the little hobbit was sleeping and saw that he already was awake. 'You're in luck,' she informed him. 'I almost had thrown a bucket of water over you to wake you up.'

'And what if I stayed asleep,' Frodo asked.

'Then I would've thrown the bucked, so be glad you're awake. Did you sleep well?'

'Yeah I think so.'

'Good, get dressed and meet me outside.'

'Where're we going?'

'To meet Elrond, it seems he has something to tell us.'

After five minutes Frodo and Babs were walking to the place Elrond wanted everyone to meet. 'What do you think Elrond want's to tell us?' Frodo asked.

'Don't know' Babs replied 'I hope he tells us who the hell this PMS fairy is.'

'Yeah, I'd like to know that too' Frodo said with a smile. 'What else is in that diary you're holding in your hand?'

'Hehe…want me to read it out to you? It's real funny.'

'That'll be great. It'll give us something to do while we get there.'

So Babs and Frodo walked further while reading the diary and becoming good friends.

Marieke was watching them from a tree with her own new friends, Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel, who was hiding from Erestor for having his panties hung up in a tree, and Aragorn, who was hiding from Arwen for she was PMSing.

'Frodo and Babs, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes LUV then comes marriage then comes Frodo with a baby carriage,' she sang happily.

'Shouldn't you be drooling over Aragrorn?' Babs shouted to Marieke before throwing a rock that knocked her friend out of the tree…again.

Aragorn quickly left the tree to tend Marieke's injuries… again. When she woke up, her eyes glazed over and she started muttering. 'Doom awaits in Moria… Doom awaits in Moria.' When her eyes shot back into focus she smiled at Aragorn. 'I've got an idea… let's go to Moria,' she informed him. 'Oh shit, first we need to go to Elrond's stupid council,' she cursed, looking at her watch. 'And we're already late.'

'What are you waiting for!' Babs yelled at Marieke while running ahead.

'A piggy bag ride,' Marieke squealed, jumping on Elladan's back as the two sons of Elrond and Aragorn rushed off to their father's boring counsil. Glorfindel was left behind to once more wallow in self-pity about being forgotten and left out.

Babs ran back to get Glorfindel. She hated when people were forgotten and together they ran to the counsel.

At the council Marieke was again sitting on Elrohir's lap, smiling happily at the Dwarves, Elves and Men that were gathered. No one but her friends knew she had a dagger hidden in her boot so that, when she had an opening, she could slide Boromir's throat and blame it on Frodo and Sam.

Arianna i Dúnedan: What do you mean "I don't like the hobbits"? Of course I do… I'm just trying to keep them safe! –looks around innocently-

'What the hell was that with Moria,' Babs thought. 'There's no way I'm gonna get in that creepy dark place, well at least not without Legolas.'

Marieke soon fell asleep, knowing Elrohir would keep on eye out for an opportunity to assassinate Boromir, no one liked the guy anyway. Now his brother, that was a totally different story and she was wondering in her sleep if she could get rid of Éowyn and add Faramir to her personal LotR harem.

'Any suggestions on what to do with the ring?' Elrond finally asked his gathered council.

'Shove it in a place where the sun doesn't shine?' Babs said.

'No, too easy,' Marieke interjected, as she had woken up to present her brilliant plan. 'No, I say we go to Moria and force-feed it to a Balrog. We can even take Glorfy to handle the Balrog part. I mean, who would ever dare gut a Balrog to get the ring out… or worse… spit out Balrog dung in search of a silly ring.'

Everyone gathered shuddered at the idea of digging around in a pile of Balrog shit.

'That's a stupid idea,' Babs said with disgust. 'Why don't we ask that grey dude over there, he'll probably have a whole lot better idea.'

Babs was hoping he had, because SHE wasn't put the ring into the Balrog for sure. She'd put Marieke in it, but not the ring.

Before long it was decided that Frodo would go to Mordor and throw the ring into Mount Doom, which Marieke commented was just as stupid an idea as hers, but no one listened to her. A fellowship was put together, and deciding not to let her ranger get away so easily, Marieke ran over.

'If those annoying little hobbitses can go, I'm going too,' she informed Elrond.

'No, you're not,' Elrond replied. 'Only nine walkers will set out.'

'But I'm a flying bag of chips!' Marieke retorted, flapping her arms. 'Therefore I will be flying, not walking, thus only nine walkers will set out, for I am no walker, but a flyer.'

Elrond could not find a fitting argument to that and nodded. 'Well, they do need food.'

'Ehm…excuse me Mitzi…eh…I mean Elrond,' Babs said. 'I don't think it's a good idea to let Marieke fly all by herself, or fly at all. Why don't we just walk 3 miles behind the Fellowship and carry all the food?'

'It's an unusual idea but I still think they need food, so both of you are allowed to walk behind them.' Elrond answered wandering how she knew his drag queen name was Mitzi.

'But… but… but… we'll be all alone and undefended!' Marieke protested. 'If we are to be walking behind them, I want to be armed and dressed like the rangers and I want a full black horse named Hravan, just like Arianna.'

'Hravan? Arianna?' Elrond looked at her questioningly.

'You haven't met them yet, I haven't come around to putting up that fic,' Marieke shrugged.

'I don't know about the horse thing, but some armoury would be nice. Like swords and other pointy things that kill things who're trying to steel our food,' Babs replied to Marieke's idea while walking towards her and hitting her over the head for mentioning something she hadn't written yet.

As their requested weapons were fetched, suddenly from out of thin air with a horrible popping noise a very masculine looking female with a pink wig, orange and pink slipper-dress, hairy legs, heavy make-up and unmanicured nails appeared in their midst and slapped Elrond in the face… hard.

'How DARE you not call me after that wild date we had last month!' She shrieked. 'I never want to see you again.'

Then she disappeared again, leaving almost everyone stunned.

'Bye Miss PMS Fairy,' Marieke waved weakly.

'Told ya his diary was fun,' Babs whispered to her friend before they went packing for the journey.

Marieke nodded still shocked, but soon forgot about the whole ordeal when she pulled out her shiney Elfish sword and was quick to call it Indóme just for the hell of it.

Arianna i Dúnedan: Well, that was fun. –waves hopefully at their readers- Welcome back nice reader people. We hope you enjoyed our second crazy chapter. Now be good and review to tell us if you did?

PinoTheGreat: PLEASE review…….It would mean the world to us –cough- well not the world, but we'd be very pleased if you'd review. Well see you next chapter. Bye bye.

–waves to the reader people-


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